excerpt ~ HUSH: Revised

     “Dominic!” I screamed as the window to his door was busted in by one of the Officers with two Officers opening the door and reaching in and literally yanking Dominic out of his seat.  The remainder of the Bentley’s windows had, too, been busted in with my father, Bob Ray and Doug also being yanked from their seats while I sat there in mine with both hands glued to the sides of my head as I screamed and cowered beneath the shatter of glass, the distorted voices and the police choppers.

     Eventually one of the officers reached in and tugged me out of my seat.HUSH- Revised (1)

     As I fumbled on my heels beneath frightened tears and several Officers’ looks of concern, I couldn’t help but to scramble my vision in search of Dominic which was frantic and desperate ‘cause I had realized that without him I wouldn’t be able to function, much less, focus.

     It took but a few slow ticking seconds to realize Dominic had been closer to me than I thought ‘cause all along he had been slumped over the hood of the Bentley with two Officers holding him down while one Officer searched his body, I assumed, for weapons.  The Officer eventually finds Dominic’s gun and quickly hands it over to one of the Officers standing by.  And when no more weapons are found, both Officers yank Dominic back up to his feet and that’s when I tried to make a dash for him but the Officer who had me semi-detained had yanked me back.

     “Dominic!” I screamed.  “Dominic!?” I then repeated with this great amount of fear clinging to the bowels of my vocal chords.

     “Let’s get her in the car!” I then heard another Officer say to the Officer detaining me.  He nods and begins to tug me back toward an awaiting cruiser, away from Dominic.

     “DOMINIC!” I then bellowed from the very top of my lungs for the third and final time hoping he’d glance my way.  And Dominic must’ve heard me from beneath all the chaos still unfolding all around him ‘cause he glanced my way with a heady amount of mis-perception sprawled across his face; I don’t think him being caught had settled yet.

     “Jane!” Dominic then called out to me once he was able to recognize me.  “JANE!” he then attempted to writhe free from the Officers restraining him especially when he saw how scared shitless I had looked which caused him greater concern for me than of himself.

     “Goddamn it!  JANE!?” Dominic then wailed from the top of his lungs when he saw the way I was being handled by the Officer simply because I was being difficult as I was still trying to get to him.  Then, and within a matter of a second, Dominic went into a blinding rage thus forcing several Officers to back up the Officers trying to wrestle him down to the ground which included the Officer detaining me ‘cause he quickly let go of me and ran toward the scuffle to help take Dominic down; Dominic – who by my account – had unleashed all holy hell on those who tried to take control of him as I took his sudden rebelliousness as a sign for me to run. . .and I did.

     And by the time the police noticed I had fled, I was already heading south, into one of the other adjacent neighborhoods.  I could hear the police chopper and the roar of sirens approaching at a far off distance.  But because I had known the neighborhood pretty well I was able to use the houses, the trees, the shrubs to conceal myself long enough to make it to the Ray’s house only to find that when I do, it, too, was being raided on.

     Helena and Tanya were both being escorted out of the house in handcuffs by ununiformed men and a couple of women by the time I had stopped running and came to an abrupt standstill in the middle of the street.  And because I was so focused on Dominic, on running, I had completely forgotten about my mother and Bree who were probably being escorted out of the house the exact same way at this exact same moment.

     Suddenly my whole entire world came crashing down on top of me as I began to fret.  And the more I fretted, the more my anxiety started to take hold with my breathing intensifying and my heart just seconds away from exploding as mine and Bree’s future began to fade from me.  In a nutshell, I was fucked, particularly when three police cruisers skidded to an abrupt standstill just a few feet from where I stood with three Officers storming out of their cars with their weapons drawn to me.

     “Hands up!” an Officer – the same Officer who tried to detain me earlier – then ordered me.  “Hands up!  NOW!” he shouted as I flinched, dropped my stilettos to the ground and raised both of my hands out to my sides.  “Hands on you head!” the Officer then demanded.  I nodded and placed both of my trembling hands behind my head.  “Now step toward me with your back to me,” the Officer then coached.  Again, I nodded and stepped backwards with my back to the Officer.  And the second I felt those handcuffs being strapped around both my wrists I knew then it was all over.

 

 

HUSH vs. HUSH: Revised

 

HUSH original book coverAs HUSH was coming to its final chapter I began struggling with – well not necessarily “struggling“ as I had a pretty damn good idea of the ending I was aiming for – whether to end HUSH with its original ending or with an alternate ending that would leave the story open for a sequel or even perhaps a series?  It was after had I realized what a strenuous story HUSH was to write, due to its graphic nature, had I settled with the original ending as I had no plan on pushing forward.  So in the end HUSH became a stand-alone novel.

original HUSH cover—–^

When I first began pitching (querying) HUSH to Lit Agents, which was somewhere between 2009-2010, had I made a crucial decision to omit some parts and clean-up the story a bit as to not offend Agents with additional graphic scenes and language.  I also decided to do away with the original ending and use the alternate ending in case an Agent offered representation and I could offer a sequel or a series in return.

 

Though I did garnish some interest with a couple of Agents requesting that I tone down the book (to which I had already done prior to querying), I denied the requests as I felt anything further omitted would only take away from the parable.

 

hush-series-hush-downAfter 64 unsuccessful queries – minus a few successful ones – or in layman`s term “a shitload of rejections“, and having no success on finding HUSH a permanent home in the Big 5 Publishing Houses, in 2013 I ventured into the underworld of “Self-publishing“ and published the manuscript`s query version of HUSH with revised cover.

 

In the four years of HUSH`s inception, HUSH has underwent four revisions, meaning, I either added to the story, omitted from the story or touched it up some.

 

Now four years later, and with HUSH`s growing popularity and maintaining as a Top 10 and Top 50 Best Seller, and to the Fans who didn`t care for a series, I decided to publish HUSH:  Revised, professionally edited with its original ending, and to include all that was omitted prior to querying – thus lengthening the story – for example:

 

hush__cover_for_kindle-2_LI (2)The prologue.

Missing scene & dialogue from the Frat party.

Missing dialogue throughout the book including some missing scenes.

Missing sex scene between Jane & Henry Church.

Missing scene and dialogue of Dominic preparing Jane`s escape.

 

… just to name a few.

 

I don`t know if there is anyone as excited as I am to see where this revised edition of HUSH will go or as concerned if reading where it all started and where it all ends will even make a difference?

Either way, I`m sure it`ll all be goodEmoji girl!

 

~Good Day to ya, Devlin De La Chapa